This puts a whole new spin on “joined at the hip”

We found this delightfully disturbing piece on a recent thrift run. 

side one:

Side two:

From the side:

What amazed me even more is that there is not one but TWO of the exact same bizarre figurine in the same store! What are the chances! It’s a goldmine of crazy!

Lisa thinks: "My what big arms you have". . . "All the better to freak you out with, my dear". I see we have another photobomber here. . . our crazy little puking clown! At least now we know what he was sick about! It was the he/she with shamefully large arms! He must have looked up "it's" skirt :) (I really like that little clown. He's actually kind of cute)

Spidey vs Alien

If you know me well, you may know that I have a thing for Spiderman. I am sooo NOT a fan of spiders, but Spiderman is a whole different story. Long before the Tobey Maguire as Spiderman movies came out, I always thought that if I was to be rescued by any superhero, I would like it to be guy who could climb walls and shoot webs. This, however, isn’t exactly the Spidey of my dreams.

Nor can I say I’d be thrilled to have this lit up in my bedroom late at night. Never been a big fan of aliens, I must say.

Together, they’re like the Dynamic Duo meets The Odd Couple

Lisa thinks: I can attest to Carmen's love of Spidey. I even have a drawing from way back when that she made me. . . but I agree- this dude (either one of them) would be creepy to have in your room glowing in a corner. I'm glad you don't like this Spidey lamp seeing as how you are always kind enough to give me your bed when I visit. Big dog, meowing cat and Spiderman lamp all in the bedroom with me might send me over the edge ;)

Your Monthly Dose of “Oh Hell No”

I’ll try to keep it to once a month. I’m not promising anything though. There’s just so much out there people!! But I guess I can’t complain. I’ll call it “blog security”.

It just wouldn’t be a “oh hell no” post without one of these.  At least this one is in a box.  No guarantee it hasn’t been “used” though. 

Just in case you only needed HALF a box.

Because everyone needs one of these.

Lisa thinks: The Bodily Fluid Disposal Kit really takes the cake, folks! I have been grossed out by a number of items we have found, but this one is the worst. Should these things be sold over-the-counter? I have a friend who is a nurse. . . she might know if that is ok or not ;)

The Penguins of Marlboro

I’ve seen a lot of inventive ashtray designs, but this one mystifies me a little. Hide your butts in a plastic penguin? Really? I’m hoping someone out there has an explanation for this.

Obviously they weren’t a hot item, judging by the flock of them on this shelf.

Lisa thinks: I wouldn't have the heart to put my butts in these guys ;) They are very cute, but I would feel bad. It's like storing a bad grown-up habit in a kid's toy. I would also spend a lot of time hoping they didn't regurgitate the cigarettes back out Rico-style.

lol.  “Rico-style”.  I loves me some Penguins of Madagascar! -Carmen

Clowning Around

As Lisa requested, I have given clowns a rest for a while, but they are still out there… lurking… ready to scare the crap out of me at any given moment and I just keep finding them.  I even saw some guy at the gas station the other day with all his clown make-up on but wearing his street clothes.  I think that was even scarier!  So today I take it upon myself to share another dose of them with you! Clowns are kind of like Jagermeister -  Horrible, but always out there and sometimes you just have to partake. So, here is your dose of effed up clowns.  Enjoy!!

Behold, Bart and his clown posse.

What do you think this little guy doing here by this garbage can? Hopefully not paying the price for a few too many shots of …umm… what do clowns drink anyway?

Yup, just had to save the creepiest for last.  You’re welcome.

(shudder) 

Lisa thinks: Thanks, Carmen. I was daring enough to go to our local parade and was exposed to REAL LIVE clowns. . . and then you do this! But I must say you gave me a good laugh with that second picture. I would actually keep that figurine around just to giggle at the thought of a clown puking his guts out after having too many. And I don't know what clowns would drink either. . . isn't "giggle juice" slang for some sort of booze? That's what they should drink. And, yeah, the last one is verrrry creepy.

Moldy Carbohydrate Art

As long as we’re snarking on the arts and crafts projects up this week, let’s delve into the reasons why foodstuffs don’t necessarily make good art supplies if you’re going for heirloom quality.

It’s basic science really, biodegradable substances (like carbohydrate laden foodstuffs) are subject to decomposition over time. (unless they’ve been coated in polyurethane I suppose)  Making a replica of a Van Gogh with breakfast cereal? Awesome!  Kids making a necklace out of macaroni?  Rock on!   But realistically, they won’t be selling it at Tiffany’s and they won’t be wearing it when they’re 35. 

Hence, make all the owls you want out of pretzels and cheerios, but when you decide it’s time for the owls to move on, then let them move on.  The chance that someone at the thrift store will decide that a petrified pretzel project is a must have for their new dining room make-over is pretty slim.

Freaky Football

Look, a little ceramic football.  Another dust collector but at least it seems to be normal.

(turns football around to inspect more closely)  AAAARRRGGHH!  What the hell… I can not imagine any paint job that would make this less disturbing to me.  If we must anthropomorphize everything, can we at least make them cute?

Kim says: When were people "into" this style? I missed it...thank goodness!

Hopefully Kevin is Proud

All to often, a thrift store becomes a graveyard of sorts for arts and crafts projects of days gone by.  This little masterpiece made me wonder what Kevin himself would have to say about this.

This pic is my fave though, shell creature PHOTOBOMB!!! 

Lisa thinks: Maybe Kevin is proud, but apparently Mom isn't. Otherwise this fine piece of art would still be collecting dust on HER shelf instead of here. But on the upside- look at our nameless little pal getting cozy with Kev's cup!

Regrettable Dust Collectors

I can’t believe it’s Tuesday already and I haven’t posted yet this week.  I got a few days off of work and slipped into a time warp.  So today’s featured bit of horror is another hodge-podge of “interesting” things we’ve found while out and about. 

First we have this, um, whatever it is.  I’m not really sure what to say about this other than “why?!?”

Our next two exhibits actually sort of go together, as much a couple of amorphous wax figures with their paint wearing off can, anyway.

This poor angel has seen better days.  

As has little boy blue here.

umm… it almost makes me wonder what he looked like before all of his features wore off. 

Four words: Twins from THE SHINING

See what I mean?

And that concludes our horror for today.  If you haven’t already, please check out our last post about thrift store horror stories and send us some email!

shifty eyed lump o wood

 

Continuing on the woodcarving theme, we present this guy.  He just made me giggle.  I wonder what he’s looking at off to his left?  I also wonder what that expression on his face is all about.

Clever use of this lump of wood though – it totally looks like he has an ear!

This is one of the stranger wood carvings we’ve found

Lisa thinks: Yes, ma'am, it is.

From this angle it’s a dude with a ginormous hat.

But from this angle, um, yeah.  I’m  not really sure what to say about that.  It just looks wrong! 

Flashback!!

Remember these guys from our very first post?

It seems they have twins.  Which ones do you think are the evil twins?

What are the chances that we would run across the same, yet different item in cities hours away from each other? 

Lisa thinks: The boy doesn't look as terrified here as the original set we found. The girl still looks like she's watching someone getting axed.

Minnesota vs. Oklahoma

Kim says: Hello all! I recently went to Enid, Oklahoma to vacation and visit with my father. OK - Enid isn't exactly a major "vacation destination" but we found fun stuff to do. You can read about that on Save That Pickle Jar! This post is about the thrift stores I visited. I was excited to go thrift store shopping...thinking about the treasures I would find...and I did find some treasures. But I was also excited to take some pictures of crap to post about on this blog. Ummmm, no crap. Really. I was amazed! I found the stores in Enid to be large, clean, and crap-free! This was an amazing revelation!!! What does this say? Does it say that Minnesota has more crap than Oklahoma? Or does it say that we Minnesotans are more willing to get rid of the crap and Oklahoma holds onto its crap with both hands?! Where were the goofy shells and vacant angels? The feminine products? Maybe Oklahoma throws it's crap out realizing that it has no value to anyone besides snarky bloggy people. Maybe Minnesota thinks their crap could be useful to someone - you know - squeeze-a-shell-until-it-squeaks kind of a thing. I'd like to know what you think - especially if you're from Oklahoma...

Cute or Not?

We’ve played this game before, when we don’t agree on whether something qualifies as a “horror” or not. 

Let us know what you think!!

 

Kim says: That bunny needs a bath!!! It is kinda creepy/cute.

Lisa thinks: I agree with Kim that it's sorta creepy/cute. But dirty. What is with the weird string thing tied around his neck? Looks like he broke loose after Mr. MrGregor caught him in his garden!

It appears I’m outnumbered on this one.  I say more creepy than cute.  But I’m with you all on the dirty.  -Carmen

Project FAIL

As any crafter or artist knows, sometimes things just don’t turn out quite right.  Sometimes it’s just easier to scrap the whole project and start over.  I guess it just never occurred to me to take my failed project to a thrift store.  Obviously, the person responsible for this did not feel the same way.  

 

Kim says: I've scrolled up and down, down and up, trying to get inspiration to comment on this...I think it might have been a good idea? That is, if it was to be a beaded spider web...but the multiple colors confuse me...can you imagine the frustration that this crafter felt to have abandoned the project and brought it to the thrift store?! Couldn't quite make him/herself take it apart - couldn't quite throw it away - but never wanted to see it again!!!

Lisa thinks: I've had some projects go awry on me, that's for sure, but nothing like this!! Dreamcatcher-in-a-frame fail? Beaded spiderweb fail? Really hard to say, isn't it? I would have at least pulled all the beads off and tried something else with the frame. . .

Little Known Conditions Affecting Mannequins

If you’ve read many of our past posts, you will know that we have run into many dysfunctional mannequins in our travels.  Many with issues all their own.  We’ve seen a sad case of pantsless androgyny and a few cases of mass decapitation which can be found here and here. 

We have also seen several instances of inanimate objects suffering from alopecia.  See examples here and here. 

But then we stumbled upon this poor thing.  A double whammy of mannequin dysfunction and hair loss.  Imagine the stigma that must come along with being a mannequin with alopecia. 

I think someone should get her a stocking cap. 

Things That Make You Go “EWW”…

I know we’ve been over this before but we keep finding them so we keep sharing them.  These were actually both in the same store, and not surprisingly, the same store we found the last one in.  The last one was no longer there which makes me wonder where it might have gone.  On second thought, I don’t really want to know.

Kim says: Why do our minds always go straight into the gutter?!

Conflicted

I know that tons of people really dig this style, and I’m not dissing that.   But for an angel labeled “hope” this poor thing could not look less hopeful.



Kim says: You're right...she looks more like she lost her hope and is hoping to find it again.

Unexpected Eww!

This started out as a little moment of nostalgia.  “Aww, we had one of these when I was a kid and I used to love sifting stuff with it while “helping” mom in the kitchen.”  So I picked it up and squeezed the handle to see if it worked.  Apparently I still haven’t learned that it’s sometimes best NOT to interact with the objects I find in thrift stores.  Technically, it seemed to work ok, but something didn’t feel right so I took a peek at the sifting apparatus.

eeewwww.  I’m not exactly sure what was all crusted in here, but I was full of crusty tan chunks of something or other inside the screens of the sifting mechanism.  Like little petrified pebbles of flour.  (shudder)   How in the hell does that happen anyway?  Never mind.  I don’t really think I want to know.  

Did the person who put this on the shelf actually think it might be salvageable?  More importantly, why did the person who donated it not just throw it away?  I’m not really sure what to say about that other than ugh.  Nasty!!