lesson learned

If there is one thing I've learned lately, it's that you don't talk smack about resolutions until the time has come, and is has not come yet, obviously.  I know, I know, I thought I was going to do so well, and then the Holiday season came and I really tried hard to post.  I even went thrifting and took new pics!  However, the strain of 2 jobs, motherhood and attempting a "as much as one crafter can  possibly try to craft" home made Christmas, blogging just got pushed to the back burner.  sigh.  I have not forgotten about my mission to find the latest and the greatest thrift store fail - it's just that this little thing called life has gotten in the way.  And as much as it exhausts me sometimes, I am ever so thankful that I have family and friends to make stuff (and buy stuff) for.  Although I totally believe that Christmas is about more than presents, the joy that I get from watching someone open a present that I spent so much time thinking, planning, and making or buying (or both) is so fulfilling that I can't help it.  The problem is that I'm not very organized and I tend to be a "last minute rush" sort of person.  Believe it or not, this extends beyond Christmas.  I'm entirely disorganized in my everyday life, but add in important deadlines like "the family Christmas" and my life becomes a little chaotic.

So why am I telling you all this?  Because I want anyone out there reading this that I have not forsaken my mission to find amusing thrift.  I just have to prioritize sometimes and this is one of those times.  So, for anyone still following me, or just finding me for the first time.... there is lots of thrift FAIL coming your way.  You just have to wait until I survive the Holidays.  So, patience, grasshopper.  Lots more fun to come. In the meantime, I wish all of you a very Merry Christmas.  Or Happy Hanukkah, or Kwanzaa or whatever you happen to celebrate in your family.  I will be back with a vengeance after the new year when I finally get a chance to sit down and breathe.  and type.  and fulfill my premature resolution.  So for the time being, stay warm.... go spend time with your families and of course, Thrift On!!

-Carmen 

I’m not sure who’s more alarmed…me or this pumpkin

In honor of Jack-O-Lantern carving season, I present to you this effed up little piece of knick-knackery I’ve dubbed the panicked punkin.  Judging by the look on his face he:
A) Just watched Paranormal Activity
or
B) Unexpectedly sharted in public
or
C) Just discovered his picture here on this blog.


Does anyone else find the inclusion of teeth and a tongue disconcerting?

Creepy Clown Revisited Equals Way More Creepy!

Remember this creepy guy?

Well it turns out there is much more than meets the eye that we missed the first time.  Kim picked him up and turned him around at our last visit (no one has bought him yet, imagine that) and found this considerably more disturbing side to him.

I’d have a frowny face on too if someone sewed my eyes shut!
Apparently he is from the Golden Circus Legion of honor.  Considering how freaking scary he is, I’m not sure that’s an honor.

Salty, Peppy and Snobby

These little guys scream hilarity to me, but as I found recently, when Lisa and I ventured to Junk Bonanza (which is 3 days of fabulousness involving antiques, crafts, repurposing and a whole lot of fun – think Craptastic times a million! anyway…) these little guys were rather popular.  Well, Salty and Peppy were anyway.  I never saw any of the snobby little chef, that was just at this thrift store.  The point is, that I obviously missed the boat on these.  (Ok, I still think they are ridiculous, but antique dealers everywhere will apparently beg to differ).

P.S.  So far so good on the “close to the end of the year resolution”.  Although, it seems that, for the time being anyway, I have lost my counterparts for for now y’all are stuck with just me.    Apparently I just had to get over my case of blogathy.  Or what I affectionately like to call a serious case of “I don’t give a damn!”  Any of you readers still out there who blog ever encounter that? 

Update… and Kickass Video

hello all!  Well, it’s been about 2 weeks since we’ve posted anything.  We have an array of excuses… some good (moving!!) some lame (just too busy!) and everything in between.  In all honestly, I will admit to feeling less than inspired to write anything lately and I was beginning to feel like my posts showed it.  I’d rather give you a “vacation” from us than to post total crap everyday, so I took a little hiatus.  It probably would have been polite to say so before now, but hey… I never claimed to be perfect. 

What this all means to you: you will be seeing more from us.  hehe, you can’t get rid of us that easily.  But what I want to share with you today has nothing to do with thrifting, or horrendous thrift store finds.  While this originally goes against the whole purpose of this blog, this is a good enough reason to stray from our “mission” and I hope you will agree. 

If you’ve read past posts, you may know that I am a nurse by day (crazy ass thrifting goddess of snark by weekend.)  :)  Today I want to share with you a brilliant little video made by the fabulous place where I work.  Not only is it awesome (!) but it is  a really good message.  check it out!  comment!  share!

 

 

We may live in a podunk little Minnesota town, but we are overflowing with awesome if I don’t say so myself.  Share the love and pass it on!

If you See Rudy, Give Him a Message for Me

Hey Rudy, remember those personalized envelopes you lost?  Yeah, we found ‘em. 

All 4 boxes of them! 

Seriously???  What on earth would you do with 4 boxes of the former MN Senator’s envelopes?  You can buy the whole set for around $12.  Hell of a deal, If you’re Rudy.  It makes me wonder how these escaped his office and ended up here at a thrift store.  Somebody should be getting a talking to about swiping office supplies.

Something About This Isn’t Quite Right

Something about this mold is a little off.  Can you see it?

How many legs does this creature need anyway?  And how in the hell did this make it past the manufacturers?

A Cry for Help

Someone’s been building sand castles.

Oh my, you know it’s bad when the knick knackery is crying out for help! 

Something tells me this guy isn’t doing his job…

If he was, would he really be here at the thrift store?

Cookies for Morons

At first I saw this and thought it was just a play on the whole “For Dummies” series but then I got to thinking… What exactly does this say about the people eating these cookies?

If the cookies are for dummies, what do the smart people get?

How many licks does it take??

How many licks DOES it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop?

Maybe this googly eyed owl will know?

Lisa thinks: Or maybe not. . . considering his glasses are all effed up. Poor dude. Hope he doesn't really need them.

Apparently the world really WILL never know.  Sigh. 

Oh Hell No! - Garden Decoration Edition

Because nothing says classy like moldy peeling cacti.

Methinks the perfect place for these would be in the fire pit on campfire night. (A weekly ritual in our neighborhood.  Campfire night, that is.  Not nasty cacti.)

How to promote childhood dehydration

Has it really been over a week since we’ve posted? Shame on us. We have no excuse – other than it was the first week of school and Kim and I spent all day Saturday at the Little Falls Craft Fair (which if you are from MN, you will know is no small event – but we got some wicked cute stuff!) Anyhoo, I was sort of hoping that as summer wound down that the crazy busy hectic-ness would slow down but I was way wrong. (sigh) I’m ready for a vacation! In the midst of our crazy week we did manage to get a quick thrifting trip in so we have some great new crazy lined up for you all.

Speaking of the crazy… Here is our entry for the day. All I know is that if you want your kids to NOT drink, then give them this cup. Holy crap! I never was afraid of the Campbell's soup kid until I saw this cup! This could give a kid nightmares. Mommy could mix her cocktail in this thing and it would be totally safe. No kid would want to touch it for fear that the crazy soup kid would eat their face off.

Cheers!

Lisa thinks: He may have alopecia. . .

A Gift for Every Gum Chewer

Well hello again!  I know, it’s been a while since we’ve had anything to say, but we have a good excuse.  Vacation!   A long weekend of camping and adventure and while some bloggers are organized enough to have posts lined up in advance, I am not nearly so organized. 

I’ve mulled over today’s picture for a while trying to figure out exactly what to say.  I mean, a little ceramic parking spot for your chewed gum?  Why on earth would anyone need that?  Then it hit me, while we were out camping when I saw one of the girls sitting at the picnic table with a bag of chips and a big wad of gum stuck to the back of her hand.  What that girl needs is a gum parker!  Great idea in theory, but who’s going to lug this thing around?  Not to mention people might start to wonder if every time you spit out your gum, you pulled out a creepy looking cat thingie to stick it to so you could chew it later.  Gum doesn’t even hold it’s flavor long enough to hang on to it that long. 

So if your not going to bring it with you wherever you go, do you set this thing beside your bed so you can park your gum there at night and pick it up in the morning?  eww.  Just buy more gum.  Unless you are that crazy gum chewing kid, Violet, from Willy Wonka and the Chocolate factory.  Maybe this belonged to her before she turned into a blueberry. 

Lisa thinks: I don't think I would want my gum back from this creepy ass.

Pour yourself up some history

Apparently there is a demand for historical themed pitchers.  Or at least was a demand.  If they were still a fad we wouldn’t be finding them in thrift stores I suppose.  Anyhoo, here is a couple for you to contemplate.  

What exactly is he doing with his hands??

He kind of reminds me of a character you might find in Alice in Wonderland, although I’m not exactly sure why.

And for the family who likes to mix history lessons with breakfast, we have the Declaration of Independence pitcher.

Unless you are hosting a historical society meeting, I can’t imagine when you might feel compelled to complement your place settings with this thing.  It’s not exactly a “pour some lemonade by the pool” sort of pitcher. 

Cookie Jar Madness

I admit that I was mildly surprised when I learned that there was a subculture of people who collected old cookie jars.  I know it shouldn’t be surprising to me, knowing what people tend to collect – cars, shoes, dust, or in my case – old cookbooks.  I had a great aunt who had a ginormous collection of salt and pepper shakers.  But cookie jars?  Maybe it’s because I don’t have a house big enough to keep them all in, or maybe it’s just because there were some fugly cookie jars back in the day.  For example:

I’m actually rather fond of sunflowers, but these don’t look like sunflowers, they look more like overcooked pasta painted yellow with bits of wilted spinach and burnt cheese thrown in for color. 

Or this… is it a moldy basket of fruit?

Maybe the point was to look unappetizing in order to camouflage the cookie goodness within. 

Cactus Clown’s Cousin

Remember this guy? 

Well, it turns out he has a long lost cousin.  (Who knew that clowns could have non-clown relatives.  I thought they were a mutant species all their own) 

Is that ammo strapped to his chest?  Maybe we shouldn’t pick on him about his lack of a “cactus”.

Lisa thinks: Is it ok that I like this one? Besides the fact that it's not a CLOWN. . . it's sort of cute and silly. Senor Cactus Willie! Sweet. He looks like a real badass. . . or maybe I should say "prick". ;)

He’s not a clown, that makes me like him quite a bit more myself.  And speaking of clowns, it looks like our little clown photobomber is at it again!

-Carmen

Naughty or Nice – You Decide

Although this entire blog is focused on items of questionable taste, we occasionally run into items that make us do a double take.  It is just our twisted little minds?  Or are these items questionable for more than just aesthetic reasons?  I’ll leave the verdict up to you.  nuff said. 

Lisa thinks: Naughty. . . but Pooh seems to be enjoying it.

3 is the magic number

Yes it it, it’s the magic number.  Somewhere in the ancient mystic trinity, you get 3, there’s a magic number. 

For some reason, odd little threesomes were the theme on the knick-knack shelf the day we found these.

Oh, and props to you if you caught the reference to this song. You are hereby officially a higher degree of awesome.

(as also covered by Blind Melon, De La Soul and Embrace to mention a few)  (yes,  I’m a nerd. And I’m ok with that.   Let your freak flag fly people!)

Lisa thinks: Wow! That's a lot of freaky!!! I'm especially disgusted/disturbed by the angel playing a clarinet(?). I won't say why- but I'm sure you get the point. I would like to say the little gnome people are cute and charming and would add creativity and a bit of silly to someone's garden, but they are just plain old creepy. Not sure the plants would grow if that's what they had waiting to stare at them. Yikes.

I really wanted to like them too Lisa!  It looks like the guy in the middle is doing sit-ups, and the lady on the left is doing jumping jacks, but what’s up with the lady on the right? 

The Unexplainables

Try as I might, I can find no rhyme or reason for the existence of these items, or why one would have owned them the first time around. 

This appears to be someone’s art project.  Maybe the work of Kevin after he grew up a bit?  The caption is what confuses me the most.  An inside joke that I missed?  A random observation?  Gosh: I just don’t know.

Does anyone have an explanation for this mug?  It befuddles me.  And this poor guy looks like he has a violent case of rosacea or is bleeding from the eyes or has just come from a bar fight or something.  In fact, he looks a little drunk, so screw flying on one wing – he probably shouldn’t be flying at all!

Owls seem to be a recurring theme around here…

Once again, we’ve managed to pull a little disappearing act around here but between working crazy hours and being sick as a dog, thrift store snark hasn’t been high enough on the list of things to do, unfortunately.  So, sorry to any faithful readers who thought we might have skipped town.  No such luck – just that crazy thing called life getting in the way again. So, without further ado, here is your latest update of thrift store nonsense.

Owls.  We’ve seen a lot of them around here.  Here and here for example.  The thing is, I really rather LIKE owls.  Just not these owls. 

This owl appears to be shocked and appalled by your reaction to him.

Hollow eyed owl will suck out your soul.

Is it just me or does this owl’s eyes look like the underside of a mushroom without it’s stem?

A Touch on the Wild Side

When I saw this on the shelf, I thought there might be some good commentary potential.  Then I turned it around to get a better look at the tag.

It was covered in old sticky oil.  I couldn’t wash my hands fast enough.  Even the label is glistening with sticky oiliness.  eww.

A touch on the wild side?  A touch on the NASTY side is more like it.

 

 

A Match Made in Lavatory Heaven

At first, when I saw this I wondered what the target market for something like this would be.  “Look Grandma!  Weren’t you shopping for one of these the other day?  What luck!”

Then I got to pondering how exactly something like this got to be here.  “Now that old Uncle Mortimer has moved into the nursing home, whatever shall we do with this thing?  I know!  Let’s bring it to the thrift store!!”

And then there is this.  I’m not even sure what to say.  I kind of wished we would have tried to figure out what it said.  Why thanks to to Google, I can find out!  Apparently you can have it record anything you want to.  But if you go to their website HERE they give you sound bytes in case you don’t have anything witty to say. 

Now the world has everything it ever needs.  Thanks, talking TP!

skittle bingo?

Looks more like skittle roulette to me.  (imagines playing roulette with a rainbow of fruit flavored candies)

Well, this was significantly funnier until I looked it up. Pop culture gap at it’s finest. However, still amused by the dude with the stogie looking all mobster like.



Lisa thinks: Hey- I remember when my dad used to dress up like that on family game night! Takes me back to when I was a kid. Or not, but that would've been great!

This puts a whole new spin on “joined at the hip”

We found this delightfully disturbing piece on a recent thrift run. 

side one:

Side two:

From the side:

What amazed me even more is that there is not one but TWO of the exact same bizarre figurine in the same store! What are the chances! It’s a goldmine of crazy!

Lisa thinks: "My what big arms you have". . . "All the better to freak you out with, my dear". I see we have another photobomber here. . . our crazy little puking clown! At least now we know what he was sick about! It was the he/she with shamefully large arms! He must have looked up "it's" skirt :) (I really like that little clown. He's actually kind of cute)

Spidey vs Alien

If you know me well, you may know that I have a thing for Spiderman. I am sooo NOT a fan of spiders, but Spiderman is a whole different story. Long before the Tobey Maguire as Spiderman movies came out, I always thought that if I was to be rescued by any superhero, I would like it to be guy who could climb walls and shoot webs. This, however, isn’t exactly the Spidey of my dreams.

Nor can I say I’d be thrilled to have this lit up in my bedroom late at night. Never been a big fan of aliens, I must say.

Together, they’re like the Dynamic Duo meets The Odd Couple

Lisa thinks: I can attest to Carmen's love of Spidey. I even have a drawing from way back when that she made me. . . but I agree- this dude (either one of them) would be creepy to have in your room glowing in a corner. I'm glad you don't like this Spidey lamp seeing as how you are always kind enough to give me your bed when I visit. Big dog, meowing cat and Spiderman lamp all in the bedroom with me might send me over the edge ;)