Evil Easter Bunny? Lamb? What IS this exactly?

With Easter coming up, the rest of this week will be filled with our twisted Easter bunny treasures. This particular specimen may or may not be related to Easter, in fact, I can't even tell you for sure what it is supposed to be. All I know for sure is that I think it's terrifying!!



Lisa thinks: I'm with you on that. . . not sure exactly what this guy is, but I can guarantee "evil" comes to mind. Is he like the evil death-rabbit/lamb come to bring you flowers while you are sick. I don't think he'd serve the purpose of "cheering up". Unless you're a nut-job!

They’ll never be the “head” of a major corporation

In all fairness, these weren’t technically out in the store but some delightful young man with awesome hair let us dart back to snap a photo when we saw sitting so prominently through the stock room door.

First… you are full of awesome if you get the title reference. Second...I keep imagining this as being a part of the assembly line where they made the Fembots. Third... what is it with the thrift stores we visit and disembodied heads?

Kim says - I've got nothin. Actually, all I can say is that I haven't EVER gone looking for one of these to craft with...

Lisa thinks: That great dude at the store does need to get a lot of credit here for letting you wander back there and take this picture. . . I knew he would help us on our quest the minute I saw his crazy-haired ass come walking out the back. Could these gals be the adult version of the classic Barbie head that was made for little girls to style their hair? Cuz, if so, I don't want one ;) I was also noticing that the one on the right seems to have signs of possible strangulation on her neck. . . yeah, I watch too much NCIS.

Useless gadgets

What do you get for the person who has everything?  This of course…

Kim says: You just know this was a present for someone. Someone was wandering around a store trying to find someone a present and saw this and thought "Thank God - I KNOW he doesn't have one of these!!" (I think we all know why he didn't have one of these...)

Chicken Balls

Recently, we found this delightful set of chickens. (roosters? whatever). The first one we lovingly dubbed the “pack chicken”. Kind of like pack mule, but poultry style. This poor bastard was loaded down with different dispensers of sorts, although at least a few of them were unfortunately placed. It appears that these two were meant for a table setting.

From another angle: Rather “prominent” placing of the salt and pepper shakers.

Ok, so I get that the this poor guy is responsible for holding all of the condiments, but what about his partner? What the hell does he do? Unfortunately you can’t see it well by the photos, but his sides were peppered with holes. If anyone knows the purpose of this, please enlighten us because we haven’t figured it out and just think he’s letting his "well endowed” friend do all the work.

Kim says: Dude what in the hell is this?! I'm guessing a pair of salt and pepper shakers and maybe oil and vinegar? Can you imagine directing a guest to the salt by saying "Just grab the chicken's left ball??"
Lisa thinks: Maybe the one that is peppered with holes is for holding the holy water you might want to sprinkle on your guests after forcing them to shake salt and pepper out of a rooster's balls;)

POOF!

Kim says: OK at first glance this is cute... and then you take a second look... and maybe notice the obviously fake chick with the realistic shoes... and a diaper?!

Carmen thinks:  The first thing that comes to mind is that this poor thing looks like it ate some fireworks. The next thing that comes to mind is who dreamed this up and decided it should be mass produced?

The Morning After

Lisa thinks: This must be the doll you give your little daughter to promote wild nights of fun out on the town. I can hear it now, "If you have had a successful night out on the town you will look like this on your walk-of-shame home the next morning. Now go play while Mommy mixes another Gin & Vodka, darling."

Kim says - It looks like she had such a wild night that she broke her leg too! Doesn't that look like a cast?  (it DOES!!  -C)

Carmen thinks: I'm totally seeing Little House on the Prairie meets Frat Party.  (Would that make it Little House of the Party?)  Anyway, I will totally admit that back in the day, I have come home looking similar to this on my own walk of shame (although I believe I managed to look slightly better than this, at least I hope)

Lady in Green

Here we have a lovely lady in green.  But wait…. what…?

WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO HER HANDS!!??!?

Lisa thinks: With those hands she should be called "The Belle from Hell". Yikes!
Kim says - What is WITH those hands?! It's like someone put her too close to the oven and then baked a turkey - they melted!

Cowphelant? Elecow?

What exactly WOULD you call this poor creature??

Lisa thinks: "Hil-freakin'-arious" comes to mind.

For the love of all that is holy, why….

Of all the potential crimes against common sense and good taste that thrift stores can be capable of, this is in my humble opinion, one of the most grievous.

As eco-friendly and "green" as I may be, I can't rationalize buying a partially used personal care product of questionable background. 

Lisa thinks: Hey- some people can't afford a new bottle of White Rain shampoo. . . it does cost almost a dollar, I think. Sheesh. . .

Happy Leprechaun Day!

In honor of St. Patrick’s day, we present to you this entirely underwhelmed (and most likely stoned) leprechaun! 

Granted, he’s not really all that bad, but a) it was the only St. Patty’s day picture we had and b) his eyes appear to be looking in different directions.  Therefore he has obviously been stuffing his pipe with 4 leaf clovers.  (Is that a sprig of clover behind his ear??)

nuff said.  Hope you all have a luck filled day and consume much green beer (if you’re into that, of course)

The Patron Saint of Honey

I like bears.  Really I do, so I want to like this, sort of.  But he just looks so desperate!  Like He's trying to sell me that beehive. or waiting for me to give him a treat. 

Kim says: What exactly do you do with this? Is it an ornament? Does everyone have these kitschy bears on their Christmas Trees and I just missed that boat?

Fur Real

Carmen thinks: Here we have a table heaped with the pelts of small animals. Can someone please tell me why someone would need one of these? Or why there are so many of them here?

Kim says: Uh-huh - we live in Redneck Country...

Lisa thinks: I've seen this before!! Oh, yeah- it was at the wildlife refuge in the interpretive center. . . maybe this was a learning center at your thrift store ;)

It's hip to be granny square

Kim says: OK - I'd have to say that this is horribly awesome! The picture doesn't do it justice. The orange is actually a screaming blaze orange, the green is the always classic avocado green...maybe it was crocheted for a deer hunter????

Carmen thinks: I tried to imagine the decor in which this blanket would be an acceptable addition.  It does kind of remind me a little of the bright orange counter tops we had in our kitchen when I was a kid. (still can't imagine that ever being stylish).  I guess I'm with you a little bit though Kim, the only place I can imagine this blanket is at the deer hunting shack.  Even then, it's a stretch.

Ewwwww!

Car
Carmen thinks: Even if this hasn't been noticeably used, the fact that it is here at all and in an unsealed package is nasty! 

Kim says: Oh man is this really a mouth guard?! Could a person ever really get it clean enough to use it? The title is right - ewwwwww!

angry boy

Carmen thinks: This little man sitting in a sad little apple tree seems to have a ginormous chip on his little porcelain shoulder.

 

Look at how pissed off he looks!

He looks like he's possessed.  Or trying to start something on fire using his mind.  (imagines little laser beams shooting from his eyes)  or maybe I've watched one too many movies.

Lisa thinks: He could be watching whatever the scared twins are watching. . . but having a slightly different reaction to it. Possessed by the devil sounds about right. . . I think he's wearing eyeliner, too.     (and lipstick - C)

Kim says: What jumps out at me is how dead his eyes look. They used remarkable detail to get his eyes to look so disturbing...    (remarkable details and emo makeup.  -C)

Mange!!

On a recent thrifting expedition, we ran across a rack filled with garments such as this:

Now, I’m not really a fur wearer, it kind of creeps me out.  (hmmm.  by now you all must be wondering if there is anything that DOESN’T creep me out).  Anyhoodle, as we passed by this rack, some unexplainable force compelled me to reach out and touch the thing.  Bad Idea.  I’m quite sure that fur coats aren’t supposed to FEEL like a dead mangy animal.  Until they make “feel-o-vision” for blogger, these photos will have to suffice.  From the front it doesn’t appear to be all that bad.  Then we flipped it around:

Nothing like a clumpy ratty mangy fur coat to make a woman feel extravagant.  (shudder) 

Kim says: This is just another warning to really look closely before actually purchasing something at a thrift store! I mean, I've gotten some great bargains, but this has issues!!

A Puff of Fluff and Saggy Drawers

Kim says: Like the other chick, Poof, at first glance I thought this was cute. And then I noticed the bitsy head and the ginormous bum! And the puff of fluff on his head is just frosting on the chick!

Lisa thinks: Did he just look in the mirror and see how completely ridiculous he looks?! He is seriously scared of something. . . maybe his "puff of fluff" (I love that!!):)

Carmen thinks: I just thought he looked shocked and appalled perhaps a bit mortified. Judging by the saggy pants, I’m thinking it might just be because he filled his drawers. Every time I see this pic, the “oops, I crapped my pants” skit from SNL comes to mind. But I am totally digging the pattern on the pants on the wall behind him.

Those are pants behind him? Wow! They are crazier than him, now that you mention it!

Sock Elephant?

I knew sock monkeys had relatives. I’ve seen sock cows and even sock moose, but a sock elephant? That is a new one to me. 

 

Lisa thinks: That's one HELLUVA trunk!! Poor dude!

Kim says: That's not a trunk - it's a weapon of mass destruction!!

Carmen thinks: He could use that trunk to swing from trees like his sock monkey cousins!  It's his legs and the way they seem unnaturally attached that freaks me out the most I think. 

Off with her Head

At the risk of sounding like a paranoid omniphobic (ok, so you may have noticed I like to make up my own words) I will admit that in addition to clowns, I am equally freaked out by dolls.  Therefore, when we were on a recent thrifting expedition, we came across this little collection that we just had to share:
Welcome to the display of (creepy) dolls:
Exhibit one:

I guess despite the flamboyant hat, she looks as creepy normal as any other doll but his face totally says “ If I wasn’t inanimate, I’d totally kick your ass!” 
And at the other end of the table, we have the rest of the display, or Exhibit 2:

alrighty then, so we have another flamboyant hat (apparently a popular style), a bad hair helmet and a OH MY GOD!  A DISEMBODIED HEAD!

I swear it’s looking right at me.  And you wonder why I find these things a little unnerving.

Kim says: I know there is a market for dolls and doll heads - but it doesn't make it any less creepy. The boy in blue in the top picture is cute in a "Chucky" kind of a way...and I can't imagine any of these being valuable - cause DUH they are in a thrift store - you know the workers Goggle stuff like this...do people buy these thngs for their kids??? Geez what would that do to the kid!

Elvis’ Red Soled Shoes

We all know the song about his blue suede shoes, but do we know about his red soled shoes? Well, we found ‘em folks, and here they are. (let’s hope no one actually wears them out in public) ;)

Lisa thinks: Maybe they were Elvis' bowling shoes. . . they sort of have that look to them!

Kim says: What is it about shoes these days? First the sasquatch shoes and now these... I can't wait to see what we find next!!!

Teddy bear antics…

Kim says: What exactly is this teddy bear doing to this doll? Mauling it? Is it gonna put her in a half-nelson?! I think this teddy bear is having way to much fun with this doll...

 Carmen's take:  I'm thinking the combination of the bear assuming some twisted gymnastics kama sutra position while draped in what appears to be a cable knit snuggie and putting a creepy doll in a half-nelson equals a whole lot of "hell no!"

I’ll pass, thanks.

Seriously? I can honestly say that even if I was ever in the position to need one of these, I doubt I’d look in a thrift store. I can also honestly say that I can’t ever imagine coming upon one in a thrift store and saying to myself, “ya know, that could sure come in handy!”



Lisa thinks: At least it's still in the box. That raises the hopes of whatever sucker buys it that maybe, just maybe, it was never peed in (or that whoever peed in it is very cleanly and organized- I mean, they DID keep the box, after all).

Oh the Horror! (Clown edition)

I know, some people really dig clowns.  My sister in law is one of those people.  I however, am certainly not.  Clowns freak me out.  Maybe it’s because of scary clown movies, or a bad Bozo nightmare I’ve blocked from my consciousness, but for whatever reason, clowns fall into my “not only no, but HELL NO” category. 
So, we’re traipsing through a classy little thrift store the other day and come upon a whole display of clowns.  Being the stuff that nightmares of made of, and we are, after all, Thrift Store HORROR!, I snapped a few pics.  Here we see a creepy but rather unassuming clown.


Our next specimen raises the creepy quotient a bit.  He has that mischievous look in his eye.   


And then of course we have a small group of clowns that at first glance seem to be innocently having a conversation with a pair of cookie monster slippers.


But what is that on the right?  WTF?  Lets take a closer look--

umm, so, yeah…. it appears that Clowny McPervert  here is getting all up in some other clown’s business.  Seriously?  Someone needs to rearrange this display.

yeah.  Check out the creepy little smile on his painted up face!  Asstastic!  This, my good readers, is just one more reason that clowns are E-V-I-L!