Friday, April 30, 2010
Kim says: You know how when you go thrift store shopping you revamp everything in your mind - cause it's cheap - and with just a little paint it could be perfect - well, I just can't think of anything a person could do to ramp this up to "awesome" - sometimes there's just no hope...
Thursday, April 29, 2010
Kim says: Yup...him LUVS his burgers!!
Imagine my surprise when I squeezed him. And he squeaked. LOUDLY! It was at that moment when I suddenly understood my dog’s fear of squeaky toys. -C
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
yeah – no comment. He just creeps me out. In fact – this picture doesn’t capture the amount of creepy in his little face – which is sad – because you would so understand what I meant if you saw him. damn the shortcomings of hastily taken photographs.
Once again – photos don’t do this chick justice. She looked like she wanted to kill you with her unfocused eyes.
Lisa thinks: That second guy is up to no good! He's got such a silly look on his face. The girls are just freaky-deaky! Eww. In fact, I'm not even sure this one at the bottom is a girl. . . girl dress, girl hair, freaky ass face. Wow!
Kim says: I just never know what to write when it comes to dolls...there are too many words and not enough at the same time...
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
Disapproving cat is disapproving.
What in the hell is the purpose of this??
Yes, I know. A clown. (sigh) Bear with me people. Especially clown loving people. I mean no harm. Really. They just really give me the heebee jeebies. I know I’m not alone in this. Just ask my brother (who lives with a clown lover - wait, that sounded bad – I mean, she’s a big fan of clowns. collects them in fact.) Just ask me how many times I’ve been in her “clown room”. This particular clown looks a little perplexed.
Corn. It’s not actually that bad but it still weirds me out a little. Just sayin’.
Lisa thinks: That cat looks pissed. . . maybe it's the cat of the angry twins. I just don't get the "talk" frame head thingy. Not sure if you put someone's picture in there if you are flattering them or not! Stop with the clowns, Carmen. You know I'm scared of them!! I actually like the corn. It's cute. . . no beat-out eyes, no bad hair day and not a sign of alopecia (however you spell that- I'm not the nurse here). He could live at my house!
Kim says: Ya, thats a good one Lisa about the pissed off cat, I want a pissed off cat living here like I want...(fill in the blank...another husband? more children? more LAUNDRY?!)
Monday, April 26, 2010
And our favorite person of the week is…Kelly!!! Why?!?! She sent us our next reader submission. (seriously, we thrive on this sort of stuff)
So Kelly O. from Lincoln, Nebraska writes: These pinatas were, ummm, interesting. Why would anyone want to beat the bride and/or groom with a stick? Maybe it's a tradition, like mushing cake into each other's faces. Still. No.
Lisa thinks: These are probably actually for AFTER the wedding. . . they probably don't actually let the wedding guests beat the crap out of these things. It's like that saving-a-piece-of-cake-for-your-anniversary tradition, except you would probably not use these in celebration. So it's like this: "I'm so sick of Chris leaving his dirty underwear on the bathroom floor- he KNOWS where the hamper is. What to do with my anger?! Oh yeah!!" *Lisa goes into the deep dark depths of the basement and searches out the pinatas only to find the bride pinata missing- guess who p*@$%d who off first?!* But that's just my guess at it. . .
Kim says: First thing – what exactly comes OUT of this pinata after you break it?
Kim also says: I think this pinata is for the bridesmaids and groomsmen. I can just picture it “thanks you (whack) for making me buy (whack whack) a $300 puce green dress (whackity whack) that makes me look fat! (whacking frenzy!!)
Carmen thinks: I would really love to know the history behind this one. Like how this ended up here in a thrift store. This was sitting around in someone’s basement at one time then dredged up and donated. Did the wedding fall through? Did someone buy/make it for a divorce party? Was it meant to be a souvenir but those giant blue eyes and cookie cutter smiles were just too spooky? Whatever the history, I’m willing to bet this will sit on a shelf for a long long time. Maybe we should buy it, fill it with little tiny bottles of champagne then put it out of it’s misery and celebrate!!!
Sunday, April 25, 2010
Kim says: Huh - you're right, he's always hiding behind something! hee hee!
Lisa thinks: His "innocent" eyes don't cover up what he might be doing, either!
Saturday, April 24, 2010
In conclusion of today’s rant – I give you our daily exhibit of “oh hell no”
Lisa thinks: Inappropriateness (is that a word?) aside. . . who the hell names these things? Sweet Love douche? Seriously. Sweet love is the first thing I think of when I hear the word "douche". Yikes.
Kim says: Good grief - the box has been OPENED! OK - I'm done shuddering now...but I can't seem to unclench my teeth!
Lisa -I second the sentiment on product naming. I just hope they paid that dear girl well for her image on this box. Anyone who agrees to be the “Sweet Love Douche Girl” deserves a nice paycheck. Hey Kim – did you see the one on the left? Apparently an unopened box will cost you a whole penny more. Not that it makes it any less “ewww” -C
Friday, April 23, 2010
Then I tried to pick him up.
His bottom half looks freakishly feminine now, doesn’t it?
Now I can’t get the Stone Temple Pilots song Creep out of my head. (“oh I’m half the man I used to be”)
Lisa thinks: The first picture makes it look like he's pooping. Maybe they should have made a tree for him to hide behind, too. The fact that anyone would design this man and then think, "let's cut him in half and put some cologne or something in him" is creepy. And then, for someone else to actually purchase him, take him home, rip his body in half and splash on some sweet-smellies is even worse. Sorry about your luck, dude.
Kim says: Hee hee hee hee...sorry the visual just cracks me up!
Thursday, April 22, 2010
$1.98???? Are you freaking kidding me?? Who prices this stuff. We need to talk! (and total flashback with the “gummy nerds” cup on the right. I totally forgot they ever made those. Proof that some things shouldn’t be “gummy” I guess)
Lisa thinks: Maybe some maniac would put this together in a grouping with the alopeciated (?) hedgehogs. That's what I would do if I were psycho.
Kim says: Can you imagine having a bunch of these grouped together as "decor" - oh, even better, can you imagine someone else having a bunch of these grouped together as "decor" and yelling at their kids to leave the feather balls alone... cause this person thought they were PRETTY?! Geez - you could write a whole novel just thinking about this stuff... or a police record...
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
For reference – a still from the movie: (creepy little faces)
Say what you will about these angelic cherub figures – but all I see is those creepy little faces. If you don’t know what I’m talking about – check out our very first post. Or watch the movie – although that isn’t necessarily recommended.
Lisa thinks: It's the eyes. When did we get so lazy we think collecting things that don't have eyes painted on them is ok? Even if they are angel or cherubs or whatever. How do they know to save you/help you/etc if they can't even SEE you?
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
I don’t think I want to know how one gets stains in the carpet of their clock. (shudder) -C
Kim says: This just cracked me up when I saw it. At first glance I thought "nice clock...where would I put it?" Then as I'm pondering if 44 clocks is too much for one little house my brain registered the carpet! Whoa - if they were trying to match it to the decor...my mind conjures up a carpeted wall...Uff-Da!
Monday, April 19, 2010
Kim says: Blech blech blech...
Sunday, April 18, 2010
Then, just days ago, we found this lovely lady and thought we should hook them up!
It’s a match made in coconut heaven.
Lisa thinks: He's way too hot for her. Really.
Kim says: ha ha ha - hee hee hee he's way too hot for her...that's FUNNY!
It's true! He has a very scholarly look about him that makes him distinguished. . . she just looks like a coconut bimbo :)
Saturday, April 17, 2010
Kim says: All I can hear in my head is music - you know - BOOM BOOM CHICA WOW WOW - yes, I'd admit my mind went straight into the gutter... ewwww
Friday, April 16, 2010
Lisa thinks: Burning the Midnight Scum. . . Carmen, you slay me!! I'm wondering if it smells as bad as it looks!? Ha!
Thursday, April 15, 2010
I think it’s the eyes. They kind of creep me out.
Lisa thinks: Is it the hair that is so sexy on hockey players? You know- their mullets?! Anyhoo. . . the moose guy isn't so bad, but the hockey puck- really do we need to make knick knacks out of anything and everything. Seriously- it's no wonder everyone has so much shit these days. "I like this" and "I like that" turns into producing all kinds of crazy-ass things that NO ONE needs!! Yes- I feel better now! And, after taking a second look, I'm agreeing with the creepy eyes. . . or maybe he just crapped his pants. . . or got a hockey stick stuck up his you-know-what. Just sayin'
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
These cows look happy (and a little manic). You tell us where you think they’re from…
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
Now, back to your regularly scheduled chaos.
As the saying goes… “you can put lipstick on a pig, but it’s still a pig”. That’s pretty much how I feel about clowns. (If you’ve been reading a while, you know how I feel about clowns ) So I could very easily say, You can put a scary ass clown in a plant, but it’s still a scary ass clown! (shudder)
Lisa thinks: A clown is a clown is a clown and this one is even more repulsive than the others thanks to it's location. You walk by and think, "Look at the pretty. . . shit!! A clown". Sneaky little bastard. On another note, this photo scared me even more when I realized that is my PASTY WHITE hand holding the pot. I clearly need to get more sun. . . it looks like I have a white latex glove on. Come on, summer, get here soon!!
LOL!! Still laughing at the “look at the pretty…shit!! A clown!” bit. You totally channeled Mitch Hedberg there for a moment (and you KNOW how much I loves me some Mitch Hedberg) -C
Monday, April 12, 2010
I can’t blame the original owners one bit for getting rid of these. I don’t think I would be able to sleep well in my house knowing these two were on my shelf, like they would spring to life at night and attack me while I slept. I kinda feel bad for whoever they’re so pissed at. They look like they’re gonna mess someone up!
Kim says: I think someone just took away their candy...and they ARE gonna GET IT BACK!
Sunday, April 11, 2010
I can’t imagine wanting to hang this on my wall. It’s a little unnerving. Like he’s confused about how he feels. It makes me think that someone could have this mounted on their wall as a daily mood predictor. They’d get up, spin it, and find out if they were going to have a good day or a crappy day.
Lisa thinks: Masks are NEVER ok. That's all. . . and have a happy night;)
Saturday, April 10, 2010
Friday, April 9, 2010
Kim says - I swear I would have bought one of these...they are just so WRONG...but would totally make me giggle.
Thursday, April 8, 2010
In our thrifting adventures, we have come across an disturbing trend. Retro Wall Decor. We’ve encountered so many of these that we’ve had to break them up into sections.
Exhibit two: Whose arm does that? That looks so uncomfortable.